TBIs, Epilepsy and the VA System

I must tell you that married life is absolutely wonderful. I have the greatest husband God could have ever given me. He's turning out to be a wonderful stepfather as well.

This post, however, is about an issue that those of you who know me know I battle with constantly. The VA and more specifically today, TBIs and Epilepsy. So to the VA, to Katie Couric, to anyone who is interested in contacting me for my family's story, which I am in the process of writing, feel free to email me at monica_newton_writer@yahoo.com

TBIs and epilepsy are becoming the Agent Orange of this war. I know because my son has both. And I knew this even long before a doctor told us (well, except for the epilepsy part, that part was a shock).

Our troops are awesome. I love them all dearly. They give a blank check to our country and pay for it sometimes with their very lives, and often with injuries both physical and mental. But the one-time legal assistant in me from years ago out in California is carefully doing research, making sure everything that has happened with my son is documented and should anyone choose to hear me in Congress, I will be glad to travel there and tell my son's story.

How did I know about his TBI? Because it had been put on my heart by God that something was wrong. Yet every time I tried to get help for him, we were rejected until I went Mama. Now that can embarrass a kid till he or she has one of their own. Then they understand it a little better.

But the first time a person asked me if my son "pretended" to be a military vet, I was furious. The next fifteen months were filled with shock and the dawning of reality. On March 15, 2007, when my hometown paper released the article out of Oklahoma City, I finally got my son the recognition he deserved as a veteran simply by threatening to go to the media myself.

When a young man walks away from his car and doesn't remember, it's a sign. When a young man comes home and begins having mood swings, nightmares, sleeping problems, memory loss, headaches, flashbacks, it's a sign. When friends and family consistently remark that they miss the "old" family member, it's a sign. When the VA system treats the veteran and his family like they are a nuisance, it's a slap in the face.

Learning to deal with what a TBI and epilepsy is not easy. Coming to terms with the fact that the VA system tries to run out a person's time to get treated properly and respect what the veteran has been through is even harder to deal with.

Years ago, I wrote that my faith was not in the leaders of my country so much as it is in Man upstairs. While I feel privileged to live in a country where I can speak my mind respectfully without fear of imprisonment for disagreeing with those in office, I still, in the end, am just a mom.

I find it timely that Katie Couric and 60 Minutes held a segment on epilepsy, that a television series has a character going through what my son is in such a way that I can actually visualize it is him there instead. Both episodes were Sunday night. But maybe, just maybe, both shows will help others to step up and fight for their rights.

Just make sure you do so legally. Keep the faith and be respectful yet let them know that you will not be bullied or thrown away. Our battle has been going on for four years and my son is still fighting for his benefits. He brought home PTSD, a TBI and epilepsy. He brought home an Army Commendation medal for his exceptional meritorious service as a Fire Support specialist and a driver. He drove high ranking officials, including a general, in the midst of Sadr City and exploding IEDs.

He did come home alive and I am so grateful to the Man upstairs for that. I just want him to know that it wasn't a sin to come home alive and that he has earned the right to get help for his own injuries.

If my son had been born with a birth defect of any kind, I would still love him and fight for his right to be treated fairly. As a soldier, he fought for this country and the friends, family and strangers he never even knew.

He was already enlisted when 9/11 happened and was about to leave for basic. As a mother, I said, "Let's try to get you out of this, Son." As a young man of 18 who had always been very respectful and caring of those around him, he said "I can't do that, Mom. My country needs me more than ever."

In March, 2003, I again begged him before he left for the Middle East. All I could think about was saving my son. Yet he again said no. He said he had to go with his comrades and help them make it home because they were his friends and "America is mine."

The thing is? Seriously? If he had it to do all over again? My son would still have gone and fought for his country. THAT is the difference between the veterans and the VA system itself. How can I do anything other than stand up and try to be half the battle buddy he needs now that he was then? Because I am seriously considering hiring an attorney to help him with his claim now.