Some Thoughts

Ok, so if you're looking for a place to complain, you may want to skip this post. If you're looking for a place full of love, hope and miracles, then keep reading.

First, my dreams. I am following them and they are opening me up to avenues I never would have expected. I have been freelancing for nearly 3 years. I have found a place in writing that humbles me beyond words...I am writing for and WITH children. I'll never be Danielle Steel or James Patterson or Dr. Seuss, but having children look forward to being with me and doing a writing project with me? Well, if you know me, you know what's next...it's an Oscar Moment in Time.

Second, my children. I have found a strength I never knew I possessed. I have dealt with blows I did not believe I could live through, yet the Man upstairs has always been there even when I doubted that. I have stood up to the VA system and continue to do so. I have been respectful but I have gone Mama on them, too, when I knew my child needed me to. With a beautiful young lady about to get married, a wonderful young man enjoying the full college experience and a combat vet who fought for his country without question, only to be questioned every step of his journey about even being in the military, I know that I am blessed.

When a young woman hugs me and tells me she wishes I was her mother, when a young man in the foster program touches my heart so that I begin praying to God if this is a sign, when little girls beg to live with me or others tease with me about my love for cats while still others allow me to join in their soccer games, I know I am blessed.

Third, my health. Four years ago, I had a mini-stroke. Since then, I have dealt with the occasional numbness, my left leg persistently bothers me even as I stubbornly power walk, my memory lapses frustrate me but I am here. My mom calls it being stubborn, I call it faith that I am here today. In the last four years I have been through a war of my own and yet also came out with a special gift, which leads me to "fourth".

Fourth, my relationships. I have gotten back in touch with friends from childhood, friends from blogging, friends from church, friends from family. Some have looked me up, some I have looked up. All have brought new gifts and old memories alive in my life. I was in a relationship that was dominating and hurtful for over a year and in order to protect my family and friends from being hacked (as he did my children and my mother), I stayed away from them. But I gained the strength with the help of a good friend to find the force of nature within my own self to say "ENOUGH!" and because of that, I am now in the most wonderful relationship I could have asked for, a man of strength and character and faith who protects me, loves me, honors me and is my best friend, my husband.

So what I have left to say is this: follow your dreams no matter what your age. Enjoy your children if they pester you to make cookies or watch a cartoon or color with them because they grow up way too fast. Take care of your body and keep your faith (and yes, being stubborn does help). Do not waste time in a relationship that makes you sad or belittles you or makes you feel bad because a real relationship is where 2 people cheer each other on, enjoy being together and think that each other is everything. I know because hubby thinks Brad Paisley's song "She's Everything to Me" is about us...and so do I, just as I think "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts is.

Remember if you are going through a battle or losing something you think you want: Sometimes, God says "no" in order to tell us "yes".